Happy people decide to be happy

I spent my Saturday, shoulder to shoulder with 1000 like-minded people at the UK’s first Festival of Happiness, held in Manchester.  This was the brain-child of a remarkable lady, Shonette BasonWood (her details here) who is truly a force of nature and one of life’s genuine happy people.  She simply shines and as I listened to her, I wished there were more people like her in the world.

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Shonnette BasonWood leading the ‘in-flight’ entertainment

Shonette partnered with one of my heroes, the amazing Andy Cope (find him here) writer of The Art of Being Brilliant and Shine (to name a few).  Both of these books have had a positive impact on my life. Together with some other friends, including an incredible rhythmic poet by the name of Rhythmical Mike; Shonette and Andy produced the most magnificently motivational and inspiring day.

I loved Andy’s session.  I have been engaging with him for several weeks as he has endorsed my forthcoming book, ‘Enough’, so it was a joy to finally meet him in person and share a seven second hug.  Andy describes himself as ‘Doctor Happy’ which is pretty accurate given he has a PHD in positive psychology, which essentially means he is incredibly clever and studies happy people (How cool is that job?).  Thankfully, he uses language us ‘non-PHD’ types can understand and despite his academic brain, he’s a down to earth guy from Derby with a penchant for wearing t-shirts with ‘HAPPY’ written on the front.

Andy pointed out how the media contributes to us never feeling like we are good enough by regularly bombarding us with ways we can be better.  He brought this to life by showing magazine covers advertising 252 ways to improve your life or 365 tips beauty tips to make you look fabulous.  I’d never noticed this happens before which is probably why I spent too many years thinking I wasn’t enough.  Now I can look at these articles through the lens of self-improvement, knowing that I can take it or leave it as I’m ‘Enough’ just as I am.

There was a reminder that we get roughly 4000 weeks on the planet.  4000!  It’s nothing is it?  And yet many of us spend lots of this time waiting for Friday, wishing it wasn’t Monday or hoping the next ten weeks will pass so we can hit the sun-loungers on our Summer holidays.  With so little time at our disposal, is it right to be wanting it to disappear without us making the most of it?  Are we wishing it away because we aren’t doing the things that would put fire in our bellies or wind in our sails?

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Happy Mondays with Andy Cope

Andy explained the difference between what he calls the 2%ers and the mood-hoovers.  2%ers have a natural disposition for positivity and they choose happy most of the time whereas mood-hoovers, and we all know one, suck the energy from you in a heartbeat.  Mood-hoovers find the cloud in every silver-lining and will be the ones saying ‘it will never work’ in a droning voice when you pitch a great idea.

Shonette describes mood-hoovers as lemon-suckers and in her session she had us write the names of known lemon-suckers on a piece of paper, screw the paper into a ball (or metaphorical rock) and throw it into the metaphorical sea (the stage) whilst singing ‘Let it Go’ from Frozen.  It was quite a moment. Those who follow me and know the amount of trolling I receive will not be surprised to hear that the word ‘TROLLS’ was written on my rock!

‘Choosing happy’ was a key message echoed by most of the speakers, including Gavin Oattes (co-author of Shine and total legend).  Gavin encouraged us to ‘be the milk’.  He talked about the impact milk has on a boring bowl of Rice Krispies, creating the snap, crackle and pop.  If we want snap, crackle and pop, our attitude, choices and behaviours can turn the mundane in our lives into something wondrous. We can be the milk, but, and we shouldn’t forget this, if we don’t act quickly, the snap and crackle can turn to a soggy mush.

The idea of choosing happy is one I have grown fond of over the past year or so.  In the past I have been known to say ‘you’re not making me happy’ to others when actually I now realise ‘I wasn’t making me happy’.  I was expecting happiness to come from an external source but I now know that the key to happiness lies within me.

I have learned that genuine happiness comes from owning my story, not hiding it, not pretending it didn’t happen and certainly not, which I did for too many years, being afraid of what people will think. Owning my story means I show my true authentic self rather than acting the way I think people expect me to act. I no longer edit, omit or limit myself.  I don’t hide behind the wall of shame.  It was exhausting and it left little energy for anything else.  Retiring the actress has given me the energy to face into who I am, and why I am who I am.  I work on the things that require healing, whilst being self-compassionate and accepting and I choose to adopt a state of mind that is positive. I am, a result, happier.  It doesn’t mean I never have bad days or regress back to a former way of working, but I am quick to remind myself that I’ve moved on from those patterns and I choose happy & positive again.

Happy people really do decide to be happy.  The 1000 people who were in the room with me on Saturday had made a choice to go to a Festival of Happiness.  We danced, we sang, we squatted (yes really), we practiced laughter yoga, we felt the force of  polo mint pendulums and we hugged strangers for seven seconds (optimum time required to transfer happiness).  And, we did ALL of this without any eye rolling whatsoever.

WHY? 

Because we’d decided to be happy and we were surrounded by like-minded people who felt the same way. We embraced the learning, lived in the moment and did it all like nobody was watching.

One of the final tasks was to choose our personal anthem, the song we can play on the way into work or when we need revving up.  Something that will light us up from the inside.  As many of you know, my motto is ‘I can and I am’ and now, I’ve found the perfect anthem to accompany it; The White Stripes, Seven Nation Army (listen here).  If that doesn’t get me in the mood to smash the day, nothing will!

Andy asked a question which was thought provoking.  ‘If you had one week left, how would you spend it?’  Ask yourself..

The truth is, we don’t know how long we have left, so lets stop holding back, editing, moaning, or getting caught up in stuff that really doesn’t matter and let’s CHOOSE HAPPY! We’ve even bought the t-shirts.

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Who doesn’t want a Happy Tee?

 

 

 

 

 

Is it humility or is it self-loathing?

I am very aware that many of the self-esteem issues that hamper me as an adult were established in some way, shape or form during childhood.  The more I have realised this, the greater awareness I have when it comes to communicating with my children.  I would like to help them establish a healthy relationship with themselves, and with others, so that they can grow to be self-assured, self-compassionate adults.

To aid this, my husband and I have introduced some questions which we ask the children to get them thinking about the right things. We regularly ask them what they are grateful for, what has made them proud today and what they have done to help others.  This weekend we asked them what they liked about themselves.  My daughter, a mini Empath, had no trouble telling us that she likes the fact she has a kind heart.  She also said she has big, beautiful eyes that can win over her Daddy. Both completely true.

My son, aged ten, thought hard for a few moments, one of those screw your face up type thinking sessions which was clearly taxing for him.  He then announced he didn’t like anything about himself.  As the Mummy of this beautiful boy, I sat with my heart hurting wanting to blurt out all the things that I believed were wonderful about him.  I refrained, knowing this would not help.  Often, in a situation were you can’t see what’s in front of you, having other people describe it is not helpful.  Instead, I asked him to have another think.  There must be something he liked.  But, NO, Nothing.

I am fortunate to have a husband who isn’t led by his ego and has a huge degree of humility, a rarity in a man of 45. I know that this means he would equally struggle to answer the ‘What do you like about yourself’ question.  I also know from running the Facebook community, A Big Girl’s Journey to Lean, that whenever we have a theme asking people to post their three most positive attributes, nine times out of ten the posts start with ‘I have found this really hard’.  Why is it hard? Is it humility that holds us back as in the case of my husband or is it actually self-loathing? Or perhaps it’s a murky mixture of the two?

Why is it so difficult for us to celebrate how amazing we are? Or even give ourselves a little nod of approval?

If the meaning of self-loathing is to feel worthless, vile and hate oneself, is this really where we want to be? It doesn’t sound like a fun place to hang out does it?

Would we want our best friends or loved ones to feel this way?  Of course not!

So why do we think it’s ok for us to feel self-loathing?  And why is doing the opposite; feeling like we are enough, practicing self-love and feeling awesome about who we are, such a tall order for some of us? or something that makes us enter ‘screwed up thinking really hard face’ territory.

I re-visited the question with my son the next evening.  He again insisted that he didn’t like anything about himself and so I asked him the question in a different way.  I asked, ‘if you don’t like anything at all, but you had to keep 5 bits, what would you keep’.  For some reason he felt better able to answer the question when it was posed this way. He proceeded, very quickly and without a screwed up face,  to tell me the things about himself he would keep and why…… and the whys were just wonderful.  He said he would keep his brain because it was full of wacky inventions that will save the planet! And he would keep his skin because it went a lovely colour in the sunshine. For a little boy who didn’t like anything 24 hours previously, this was ground-breaking self-love stuff!

He then told me the thing he definitely didn’t want to keep and we established there was one thing he really didn’t like about himself which had clearly clouded the way he felt about himself overall.  Through creating the list he was able to see that there are many amazing things he liked about himself and ultimately just one thing that he wasn’t so keen on.  Overall, this one thing was a small part of a whole.  We used a pie chart to show what a small piece of the pie it was.

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Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

It was clear that in the case of my son, it wasn’t over-played humility but was actually about a form of self-loathing that had become distorted. By the end of the conversation, looking at the pie, he had a gentle air of self-confidence due to identifying so many things about himself that he could celebrate.

So could this apply to you? Are you overly-humble and therefore unfamiliar with self-promotion.  Or are you letting one aspect of who you are cloud the opinion of your whole-self.  It might be the size of your thighs, your nose, a wonky tooth or a mole.  Do you loathe this one thing so much it consumes all of the positives to the point you can’t see them? If so, try doing the ‘if you had to keep 5 things about you, what would they be and why’ exercise. And then do the ‘if you could get rid of one thing what would it be’.

Once you identify the one thing, develop an affirmation to help you think more positively about it.  If you believe you hate your cellulite, practice saying ‘I have lovely smooth toned skin on my thighs’. And in conjunction with positive affirmation about the thing you don’t like, focus daily on the five things you found that you do like.  Positive reinforcement is the key to developing a firm sense of self-love. 

If you think it’s humility that’s holding you back, push yourself to do the same exercise, after-all, those who have high levels of humility are very open to self-development and so this can be used as a learning opportunity.

We are incredible, complex, beautiful beings with so many skills, talents and attributes to be proud of.  Go in search of yours and start celebrating what makes you Enough.

My book, Enough, is available now for Kindle Edition pre-order. The paperbacks will be released later in June.

Visit my webpage here http://www.abiggirlsjourneytolean.co.uk

 

 

The F Word

Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have” -Unknown 

How many times do we allow FEAR, self-doubt or the idea of failing to stop us doing something new or challenging or both?

In my case allowing fear to hold me back has been pattern of behaviour I’ve become so accustomed to, it’s now a deeply ingrained way of working and one I am now working hard to undo.

It may be a pattern for you too.  How often do you shy away rather than go for it?  What stops you?  Is it the Fear?  Is it Failure. Or is it one leading to the other?

From the age of nine, I found that choosing not to do something mitigated the worry about what people might think, the chance of getting it wrong, of looking stupid, of FAILING. I missed out on opportunities to rock climb, abseil, climb mountains, go canoeing, learn to dance and I actually developed a deep rooted fear of water as a result of not going to swimming lessons.

Much of this refusal to try related to my body image and worrying about how I might look wearing the various outfits associated with such pursuits.  Ultimately though, it was linked to a fear of failure and the ironic thing is, in not doing these things and not taking the opportunity to grow, I felt even more of a failure.

The very thing I was trying to avoid, I became. 

And what’s sad about that is, I missed so many chances to experience genuine joy.

What I’ve learnt very recently is that when I do feel fear it’s best to immerse myself in it.  To really feel it, to respond to it and to look eyeball to eyeball with the things that I fear the most.  What is it they say.. “Feel the fear and do it anyway”.  Acting on it seems to take the wind out of its sails, to dampen the flames, to lessen the impact and I can more than vouch for that.  Telling myself that the fear will pass, it’s purely an emotion and I won’t be stuck feeling it really helps.

I recently found myself standing on a high platform about to jump into a pool of muddy water, my ultimate nemesis.  I watched as dozens of others managed it without fuss, with smiles and laughter and certainly without any deaths and I asked myself why I was so fearful.

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Yes, I couldn’t swim more than a few metres but I was wearing a buoyancy aid so logically I knew I’d be fine.

Yes, I had a fear of getting water on my face and I was about to be submerged under water but it only lasted a few seconds so what was the worst that could happen?

I asked myself how I would feel afterwards. What would it mean to me to know I had done it?  Would that feeling outweigh the temporary fear I was feeling? YES!

I stopped my inner voice ‘Miss Meddler’ in her tracks.  She was busy telling me to turn around, that I couldn’t do it, I’d make a prat of myself if I tried and instead of listening to her, I applied some positive thinking. I remembered that positive thoughts attract success whereas fearful thoughts attract fear and fear attracts failure.

I adopted my own manta ‘I can & I am’

I slowly got myself into a seated position on the edge of the platform and then used the Mel Robbins 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique to jump.  It did feel like I was under water for an age, and I did panic when I came up and found my legs wouldn’t work to get me to the edge, but I did get to the edge and the sense of achievement was immense, even if the enormous sense of relief came first.

I didn’t die.

I didn’t fail.

I faced my fear.

I drowned it in courage and I replaced self-doubt with self-belief.

I replaced failure with success.

I gave myself a chance.  I grew.

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And then, a few days later came lesson number two… Controlled fear.

When I got home, I asked myself if I would return to the water jump again.  My initial thought was ‘NO WAY’.

But Why?  I’d already done it. I didn’t die.  I felt a massive sense of achievement.  I knew I wouldn’t fail. Why not give it a go?

The answer was that if I was going to do it again, I wanted do it in a way I’d observed others doing it, wearing a huge smile and even screaming ‘WHHEEEEEEEEE’

To get there I would need to face the fear head on, in a very controlled environment, a swimming lesson.

What is remarkable about this is, despite harbouring a fear of putting my face in water for over 30 years, in my very first swimming lesson I did it several times.  I didn’t panic and as the lesson progressed it became more natural.  Why?  Because I was in the hands of an expert who knew how to help somebody like me and her confidence gave me confidence.

Asking for help is often our last resort.  It can be seen as a sign of weakness and this couldn’t be further from the truth.  It’s a sign of strength and it provides a remarkable opportunity to move away from fear and failure and move towards growth.  It’s a huge act of self-love.

So love yourself whole-heartedly, get out of your own way and don’t allow fear to cause you to fail.  Find your inner Self-Love Ninja and drown the fear in positive thoughts & decisive action.  Stop passing up opportunities to experience joy and to live a full, happy life.

You own all of the courage you need to fight the fear head on and in doing so you will learn, flourish and continue on the journey to being a better you.

 

Is it the word ‘mental’ that makes people shy away?

It’s Mental Health Awareness Week so this week’s Self-Love-Ninja blog is a little different.  Mental Health is something that is hugely relevant in my own consciousness due to having mental health conditions in the shape of eating disorders and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), something I cover in my forthcoming book, Enough.

My own mental health is something I have only felt able to talk about more recently, partly because the conditions failed to be diagnosed for almost 30 years and partly because I spent years feeling ashamed of the fact I couldn’t ‘snap out of it’.  I guess there was another contributing factor that led to my prolonged silence and that is how acutely aware I am of the amount of  eye-rolling that takes place when people talk about conditions like anxiety, depression or OCD let alone bulimia or PTSD.   Mental Health conditions are still so misunderstood.

There will be, and in my case there are, people who treat me differently because I have been open about my conditions.  It’s as if it suddenly means I am incapable or difficult to talk to.  I remind myself that this may be down to the way they have been conditioned to view mental health, rather than a display of ignorance.

Let me try and explain…

When I was a little girl, there was a lady who lived in our street who was described by the locals as ‘mental’.  She wore red lip-stick beyond her lip-line, bright blue eye shadow up to her drawn-on eyebrows, a crumpled, brown trench coat (whatever the weather) and she muttered to herself as she walked along the street, sometimes even shouting out loud.  This, in the eyes of society, meant that she was ‘mental’ and this also meant that people would cross the street the avoid her.  I watched this happen time and time again through my 8-year-old eyes.

The negative connotations surrounding the word ‘mental’ were set in stone from an early age and continued to be reinforced through further examples of individuals being described as ‘a sandwich short of a picnic’, a phrase often used to describe anybody who dared to be different or anybody who behaved in way that wasn’t considered the norm.

I wonder now, as an adult, whether the term mental health is appropriate and please bare with me whilst I expand on this.  Whilst I would love to think we live in a world where the stigma surrounding mental health will subside, I don’t, at the moment, believe it to be true.  I think the stigma is reducing as awareness is raised through charities such as Mind, but it’s a long way from being eliminated anytime soon.   How much of this is because my generation, and probably the one before, has been brought up believing the word ‘mental’ is negative?  Perhaps if we called mental health ‘brain health’ it would attract the same respect as physical health. Or, maybe we could just stick to physical health as a descriptor, after all, the mind is part of the body.

If we are sticking with the term Mental Health, it’s worth nothing that it exists on a spectrum and has a range of conditions and severity levels.  I must add that I speak as a layman here, with only experience to draw on, rather than specific expertise.  The way I see it, in the same way physical health can be debilitated by a toothache or annihilated by Cancer, mental health can be impacted by anything from a bad day at the office to a traumatic horror such as the murder of a family member.  Whilst the latter, we hope, will only impact a minority due to its rarity, any one of us can experience mental health blips in the same way as we can catch a cold and it is nothing to be ashamed of.  In fact, in many ways, it provides an awakening which allows us to evaluate what is important and often leads to a prioritization of goals and a search for the things that will lead to happiness.

Have you ever been in a situation were everyone around you seems to be doing well whilst in your world everything is falling apart?

Little things like spilling a drink or dropping a plate feel like a major failing and you seem powerless to rationalise them as an accident.

You feel unhappy, stressed and irritable.

You have goals but you don’t believe you are capable of reaching them.

You know a change is needed.  In some cases you even know how to do it,  yet feel paralysed to make it happen.

You struggle to lift your head off the pillow in the morning, let alone face the day and you want the rest of the world to do one! (and that’s putting it mildly)

These feelings can quickly spiral into shutting off, not answering the phone, scrolling mindlessly through social media, comparing yourself to wonder-women and super-men (see last week’s Blog), eating junk, drinking too much, curling up under the duvet and not wanting to face reality.  For most people, all (or any combination) of these things might last for a day or two, for others it can go on and on and on until it reaches the point where even the simplest task is insurmountable.

In some cases, you may be fighting the need to to shut off whilst trying too hard to continue with your daily life.  This produces a pressure cooker environment which one day can go pop!  The simple fact is, if you need to shut down, you can’t carry on as normal, at some point, you have to stop and get off the merry-go-round.

The key thing is awareness.  If you feel yourself reaching the point where you don’t want to face the world today, this is when your self-love-ninja really needs to kick ass.    Treat yourself with the same kindness you would if you were suffering with physical illnesses. I love the advice of Happiful Magazine which advocates taking mental health days off work without guilt. You may simply require a day or two hibernating, eating nutritious food, watching comedy films, taking long walks and listening to music before you feel back to your usual self and able to carry on as before.

Or, you may need to seek help from a professional who can steer you in tpexels-photo-271265.jpeghe right direction and provide you with the care you need.

Deep down most of us know what we need to do, we are often afraid to do it for fear of being branded ‘mental’.  But we are not mental, we are incredible and we are taking the brave steps to bring ourselves back to full, vibrant health.

So during this mental health week, consider how you respond to people around you who might be suffering. What language do you use?  Do you roll your eyes?  Because how you respond to others will be how you respond to yourself tenfold.

Next time you have a mental health blip, or if you are experiencing one now, treat yourself with the care, kindness and compassion you would show a loved one suffering with a physical illness and seek help.  Ultimately, you deserve to be well in all aspects of mind and body and you can be safe in the knowledge that there is always a way out from under the duvet.

‘Enough’ is out on 17th June via Amazon.

Follow Self-Love-Ninja for daily affirmations https://www.instagram.com/self_love_ninja/

 

 

 

 

 

If you could be like anyone in the world, who would you be?

It is estimated that there are 7.6 billion people living on our planet and what’s staggering about this statistic is that every single person owns a unique set of fingerprints. If ever there was a more powerful example of how individual we are, it’s this.  7.6 billion people with their own bespoke stamp setting them apart from everybody else.

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Consider how often you celebrate your individuality. Is it something you are aware of, or even proud of?

Now think about how often you find yourself comparing yourself with others. Rather than being content with who you are, do you find yourself wishing you were more like somebody else?  Wanting their body, mind, holidays, income, house, car or family?

And here’s the real tough one…

Have you ever felt that somebody else’s success takes away from your own?  As if success is a limited resource and somebody else gaining it, means your own achievements pale into insignificance.  Do their wins make you feel less successful and does their greatness stick in your throat?

If the answer to any of this is yes, don’t worry, you won’t be alone.

Comparing ourselves with others is a very normal habit and one that is hard to break. How we feel as a result of the comparisons we make is the critical thing to tune into.  How we react when we see others doing well is even more vital to understand. These are the clues that allow us to identify our tiggers.

If the fabulous feats achieved by another is making you feel less worthy, the chances are this person is holding a mirror up to you and exposing the things you feel wholly insecure about.  Understanding this can be extremely helpful and allows you to identify the things you can work on.

If a friend has recently lost weight and looks fabulous, your logical brain will tell you s/he looks fabulous, but your inner voice may start telling you that his/her weight loss makes you look fatter, making you feel like a failure and before you know it you are heading down the bumpy road of self-sabotage and face-planting the nearest cream cake.

If you are scrolling through Instagram and see a lady on a tropical beach, looking practically perfect in every way, you might start wishing you had what she has.  You might even start berating yourself because you are stuck at home, with bed hair, wearing a coffee-stained t-shirt and lacking the opportunity to ever see the tropical sunshine.

Allowing comparison to make us feel less successful, less valuable, just LESS, is the problem to solve.  This is when your Self-Love Ninja needs to work his/her magic to help you remember what you have, what you do and what you can offer matters AND who you are is ENOUGH.

Practicing daily gratitude really does encourage  us to value our belongings, our relationships, our strengths and our surroundings. To create this habit, set a recurring ‘gratitude alarm’ on your phone each day and when you hear it, pause and highlight one or two things in that moment that you are grateful for.  It might be that the sun is shining, your new shoes aren’t rubbing, you have cleared your inbox or you got the children to school on time. Little things are just fine.

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When you are scrolling through social media posts or attending an event, set yourself a challenge to compliment others on the things that spike your envy.  Doing this can really help you to celebrate the success and attributes of others and turn envy into a huge positive by making them feel great, which in turn makes you feel great. Engage in conversation to find out how people achieve what they have and use this new-found knowledge to help with your own journey.

Choosing to be inspired and motivated by others and using their success to support you on your own journey is much more beneficial to you and your mental well-being.  And it is a choice that we can make mindfully if we want to.

The critical thing is that you do it.  Don’t just read it.. Do it.  Set that gratitude alarm right now. Change doesn’t happen unless you make a change.

Finally, think about YOU.

Start with the phrase.. I am enough because… and write down all of the amazing things that make you the incredible individual that you are.

If you were a product, how would you sell yourself?

What do you do well?

What are your attributes?

What do you love about your body?

How would friend’s describe you?

Why are you unique?

What makes you enough?

It’s a tough exercise, but taking the time to put the pen to paper and create your ‘I am enough because’ list will inevitably help you in the future if you succumb to the comparison trap.

And remember, next time you are asked ‘If you could be like anybody in the world, who would you be?…

Answer with the world ‘ME’

Because you are an amazing individual, with your own unique stamp on the world and you are indeed, ENOUGH.

Lots of love,

Self-Love-Ninja x

Follow my daily affirmations here: https://www.instagram.com/self_love_ninja/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The start of things to come..

It’s such a thrill to be introducing the concept of the Self-Love-Ninja.  She has been a guiding light in my life for several months and I am excited to be sharing her and her super-powers with you in my forthcoming book, Enough and in this blog.

My book is out on the 17th June and will be available through Amazon.  It’s part memoir, documenting my personal journey, part mind-set manual, serving to help you understand that you have the ability to achieve anything you want to achieve if you believe you are Enough.  It sets out a number of tips and tricks that will help you to shift your mind-set to one of growth and in doing so learn to love your whole-self and establish such incredible self-worth that nothing will hold you back.

The Self-Love-Ninja plays a key role in manifesting this belief.  I developed her character so I could visualise her guidance and for me she is a fierce kick-ass kind of gal with a warm heart and winning smile.  You can feel free to use her too, or indeed create your own version, male or female or even animal if you like, anything goes.

As you will read in the book, the Self-Love-Ninja is your ally, your inner super-hero, there to help you establish self-love, self-belief and self-worth.  S/he will become so powerful that the inner-voice of self-doubt will be drowned out and you will start to win the battle against the things that hold you back, the things that stop you experiencing joy and those that cause you to hesitate and choose ‘I can’t’ over ‘I can’.

The Self-Love-Ninja will allow you to unlock the person you truly are and deserve to be.  You will gradually find out who hides beneath the layers of pretence.  You can stop being who you think you should be, saying what you think you should say, existing to please others, and you can start being YOU.  

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How liberating would that be?  Its like taking a breath of the freshest fresh air.  Retiring the actress/actor who consumes your energy and instead using that energy to love yourself with your whole heart.

In finding and being You, you’ll become more valuable to others, easier to love and you’ll feel amazing about who you are.  You’ll be authentic and authenticity rocks.

Join me here every month for my Self-Love-Ninja practices and check out the new Instagram page for daily affirmations. https://www.instagram.com/self_love_ninja/

You can follow my own body transformation & mind-set overhaul journey on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/coxange78/

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness – Robert Morley.