It is estimated that there are 7.6 billion people living on our planet and what’s staggering about this statistic is that every single person owns a unique set of fingerprints. If ever there was a more powerful example of how individual we are, it’s this. 7.6 billion people with their own bespoke stamp setting them apart from everybody else.
Consider how often you celebrate your individuality. Is it something you are aware of, or even proud of?
Now think about how often you find yourself comparing yourself with others. Rather than being content with who you are, do you find yourself wishing you were more like somebody else? Wanting their body, mind, holidays, income, house, car or family?
And here’s the real tough one…
Have you ever felt that somebody else’s success takes away from your own? As if success is a limited resource and somebody else gaining it, means your own achievements pale into insignificance. Do their wins make you feel less successful and does their greatness stick in your throat?
If the answer to any of this is yes, don’t worry, you won’t be alone.
Comparing ourselves with others is a very normal habit and one that is hard to break. How we feel as a result of the comparisons we make is the critical thing to tune into. How we react when we see others doing well is even more vital to understand. These are the clues that allow us to identify our tiggers.
If the fabulous feats achieved by another is making you feel less worthy, the chances are this person is holding a mirror up to you and exposing the things you feel wholly insecure about. Understanding this can be extremely helpful and allows you to identify the things you can work on.
If a friend has recently lost weight and looks fabulous, your logical brain will tell you s/he looks fabulous, but your inner voice may start telling you that his/her weight loss makes you look fatter, making you feel like a failure and before you know it you are heading down the bumpy road of self-sabotage and face-planting the nearest cream cake.
If you are scrolling through Instagram and see a lady on a tropical beach, looking practically perfect in every way, you might start wishing you had what she has. You might even start berating yourself because you are stuck at home, with bed hair, wearing a coffee-stained t-shirt and lacking the opportunity to ever see the tropical sunshine.
Allowing comparison to make us feel less successful, less valuable, just LESS, is the problem to solve. This is when your Self-Love Ninja needs to work his/her magic to help you remember what you have, what you do and what you can offer matters AND who you are is ENOUGH.
Practicing daily gratitude really does encourage us to value our belongings, our relationships, our strengths and our surroundings. To create this habit, set a recurring ‘gratitude alarm’ on your phone each day and when you hear it, pause and highlight one or two things in that moment that you are grateful for. It might be that the sun is shining, your new shoes aren’t rubbing, you have cleared your inbox or you got the children to school on time. Little things are just fine.
When you are scrolling through social media posts or attending an event, set yourself a challenge to compliment others on the things that spike your envy. Doing this can really help you to celebrate the success and attributes of others and turn envy into a huge positive by making them feel great, which in turn makes you feel great. Engage in conversation to find out how people achieve what they have and use this new-found knowledge to help with your own journey.
Choosing to be inspired and motivated by others and using their success to support you on your own journey is much more beneficial to you and your mental well-being. And it is a choice that we can make mindfully if we want to.
The critical thing is that you do it. Don’t just read it.. Do it. Set that gratitude alarm right now. Change doesn’t happen unless you make a change.
Finally, think about YOU.
Start with the phrase.. I am enough because… and write down all of the amazing things that make you the incredible individual that you are.
If you were a product, how would you sell yourself?
What do you do well?
What are your attributes?
What do you love about your body?
How would friend’s describe you?
Why are you unique?
What makes you enough?
It’s a tough exercise, but taking the time to put the pen to paper and create your ‘I am enough because’ list will inevitably help you in the future if you succumb to the comparison trap.
And remember, next time you are asked ‘If you could be like anybody in the world, who would you be?…
Answer with the world ‘ME’
Because you are an amazing individual, with your own unique stamp on the world and you are indeed, ENOUGH.
Lots of love,
Follow my daily affirmations here: https://www.instagram.com/self_love_ninja/